Monday, October 11, 2010

Dum Dum Dummmm.....

As the dramatic sounded effects indicated in the title, something or somethings BIG in my life are about to happen.  Well for starters, the TAPIF (Teaching Assistant Position in France) application is now open and I have filled out 65% of the application.  I still need my rec's, a physical exam and to write my statement of intent. Ohhhh and yeah I still need to figure out what are my top 3 "acadĂ©mies souhaitĂ©es" (the top 3 regions on France I would like to teach in).  I read on the teaching assistant blog that sometimes people are not placed in any of the 3 they chose and were placed somewhere COMPLETELY random, but I want to take my chance and try to chose 3 regions I would like to be placed in (blind faith).  If they place me in a region outside of happy camper for me!

Secondly I am also applying for a neuroanatomy research position in, drumroll please.......BRAZIL! lol, yeah, can you tell I'm nuts yet? Yep, Brazil, soooo random but it sounds like a great opportunity for me and it combines me two loves, doing things related to science and medicine AND getting to leave the US.  To be completely honest with myself I am not really counting on this internship, I mean there are only 6 spots available and only God knows how many people are applying, plus I don't speak Portuguese. But I'm going to give it my all i the application and if it is God's will, then it will be done.

So certain gears in my life are being turned and its all exciting but for some reason, there is a small terror beginning to grow inside me.  It all started when I went to the TAPIF website and discovered that the application was open (which was sometime last week).  I gasped because I had been waiting for so long but then I stopped and starred an my laptop for a minute. Suddenly everything I was hoping to do became a reality. I thought to myself "Holy shit, am I actually about to apply to this thing, am I really gonna live in France for 7-9 months?" It was like ALL the excitement I had been building up vanished and fear rushed in to replace it.  I ended not opening the application until a couple days later in order to calm myself down. I probably won't be able to write my essay until I have a complete sound mind.  Maybe I'm just scared of what reactions will be like if I actually do this. I mean, my mama doesn't even know yet.  Maybe I just scared that she will reject the idea and the entire program if I decide to do it. Things have been tough in our family recently but all she wants me to do is to be focused, but it's not like me wanting to travel will delete all of my our aspirations, I would be gone for 1 year maybe 2 if I REALLY like the program and then its back to life as I know it.

So to build the momentum back up I have been trying my best to brush up on my French.  I watched a French film called "Mon Meilleur Ami" and "Unfaithful" (it's not a French film but Olivier Martinez is alll the French you need) and I have been sleeping to the soundtrack of "Amelie". Plus I borrowed some "French for Dummies" type of books help me practice until I can take classes at l'Alliance Francise again.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

So here we go...The 1st Post

Ok, so I finally decided to jump on the bandwagon and create a blog.  I think this new venture is comical because ever since I can remember I have been trying to document my thoughts and feelings in different journals.  I was cleaning my room the other day and found the remains of 10 different incomplete diaries, so only time will tell whether or not I am faithful to this blog.

Basically, I was pretty much forced to create this blog because I have been reading tons of blogs about a million different topics of my interest (bedroom remodeling, travel, relationships) but I could never leave a comment because I A.) didn't have a Gmail account and B.) didn't have a blogger I killed 2 pretty birds with one stone and got both.  So I have spent my entire Lazy Sunday importing my whole entire life into my gmail account and leaving numerous question and comments on different blogs.

The purpose of this blog is to document some of my personal feelings and my hopes/ desires to travel.  To give you some background info about me, I am a 22-year old recent college grad who pretty much had her life planned out, almost to a 'T'.  But living in a shity difficult economy has not been easy and before I knew it, I found myslef jobless for 3 months.  Fortunately my old job took me back, so now I at least have a paycheck and could focus on beginning the medical school application process.  But there was this tiny voice inside me that kept growing and gaining momentum.  This voice, this feeling, kept reminding me of the urge I've always had to GO. GO and live life, GO and be young and stupid, Go and leave the country, GO and see the world.  I have always considered myself to be a "world citizen" becasue I am an American born Nigerian female who speaks Spanish, English and French.  I live to learn about new cultures, customs and traditions and enjoy exchanging my West-African-American culture for another's.  I have been to 3 different continents (each 2 week stints) but I never went abroad in college, and to this day that decisions kills me.  I have felt a strong feeling of incompleteness becasue I haven't spent a long amount of time abroad.  But no more of that! I am taking certain steps and will make certain decisions to make that dream a reality.

So here I am blogging my life away.  I want this blog to be honest, real and un-cut and I hope this blog can inspire or relate to someone just like other blogs have inspired me.