Wednesday, June 22, 2011

...the weight has been lifted

Wow, so much has happened within the past month and there is so much that I want to share and promise to share later this week.  But it's 2:30 in the morning and I have to get this off my chest:

I told my mom about Paris.

I actually did it!  It was weird, I felt a lump in my stomach that was bubbling upwards towards my throat just itching to get out.  I've had that feeling ever since I found out I got accepted into the program, but I would suppress it and suppress it.  Well I could no longer do the avoidance dance especially since in approx. 87 days from now I will be on a plane to Paris.

When I could feel the truth trying to escape from my mouth, I frowned and instantly my mother knew something was up, so from there, I sat her down (and my heart started racing) and I told her everything.

She was shocked all she could mutter was "wow", and then it got quiet, she looked at me then looked away.  Of course she asked me about med school, my future, the MCATS and blah, blah blah, but I approached her woman to woman and I projected my point without making it seem like I was asking for her permission.  Even though she said she needed time to process everything, by the end of our conversation, she joked about giving Paris a second chance and visiting again.

Now I feel silly for not telling her (as all my friends would agree) and I actually regret waiting so long but what could I do? the fear of her disapproval and judgment was overwhelming.

So there you have it, my mother knows everything and for the 1st time since I received my acceptance, I can actually be whole-heartedly and openly excited, frustrated and terrified by this journey.

For now, the weight is lifted and I'm all smiles....